If I’m going to rewrite a memory, I’ll do it in backwards slow motion; like the turning of someone’s gaze in between conversations.
Sometimes I blame myself for being too shy. I’m not a quiet person, just a little embarrassed when I can tell if a person is interested in me. If I had asked, “How are you today?” Maybe I’d get an answer like, “Great. It’s nice to see you again.” I was happy to have crossed paths with you on the way to the office, but I hoped I let you know I was already aware of your name, too.
The morning rushed through busy lines and small talks. I grabbed a friend to go with me to the pantry, and I suddenly wished I hadn’t. When you came after us and bought food, I could only munch on the sweet, green cupcake that amusingly matches your shirt. No exchanged nods or hellos, and the distance between tables seemed to stretch further than the truth.
I started to wonder, “I should’ve left an opening for a moment to speak with you.”
But at that time, what did I ought to say?
We were strangers and colleagues; aware yet unsure.
So we just kept looking for each other, stealing glances and mirroring our actions.
- I’ll take a(nother) chance with you - June 23, 2020
- Just say ‘goodnight’ and go - June 16, 2020
