© All Rights Reserved. Blue And Orange 2012
Blue like the color of the Ocean. And blue like the symbol of hope. Ocean is vast, very vast. You will never know its beginning and its ending. You think the shore is the beginning? But in truth, it is just the connection of land and water. Ocean is infinity.
Hope is like ocean. It gives me so much hope whenever I see it. Its blue shining water brought by the rays of sun gives the shimmering in my eyes. The moment I am standing in the terrace of a lighthouse, sniffing the breeze as it passes against me, makes me rejuvenate from my past.
I want peace. I want calmness. I want hope. And ocean has it all.
This feeling of hope growing in my foundation, I do not want it to fade. I want to keep it. But I don’t know how.
From the past I believed I was forever belong, hopelessness devoured the glint of recovery in my system. Covered by fear and shame in my being, eyeing down by the people who pretended to be saint and I realized, the world was very cruel to live in. Its tyranny forced me to live in autumn; the season of sadness and longing for happiness.
I had no one to turn to. I tried to harbored love by forsaking the true me and pretending as the others. But in the end, my own pretense pulled me down into the very depth of misery; the time when circumstances told me to accept my situation and live with it. Therefore, I lived with it.
Autumn had passed. Winter, Spring and Summer passed by and then it came again, the Autumn. The season where my calvaries had all started.
In the second nostalgic autumn, I started to stand on my feet and begin my walk. For I feel changes must to be done by no others but solely me. Then, my feet brought me to the meeting point of land and water; the shore. I found a lighthouse on top of the plateau. I went there. It is empty. So, I trespassed and I go directly through the outside where I can get a better view of the ocean.
The sky is dark. It will rain, I supposed. In the matter of minutes, the rain pours down heavily. I do not get inside. Instead, I let the rain wet me. I raised my face up, facing the sky, though like welcoming the rain to pursue its drops.
Carried away by my emotion, I cried. I have reminisced all my sufferings. I never had been happy to my life. Never. I want to die. I am tremendously hopeless. I want to jump from where I am and let the hard formation of rocks wound and tear my flesh apart.
However, something is holding my mind still.
“Seasons changed and passed.” came a voice from my back. I turned around with a terror in my eyes. For I think that someone caught me and will punish me. Instead, I see an old man wearing a very white dress. He is smiling at me.
“Don’t you cry.” he said. I look intently on his face. It is very calm. I want to obtain that reaction, but how?
“Calmness will see here.” he put his hand on his heart. “No matter how miserable you have experienced, it now belongs to past and you have to move on. Experiences are like seasons, It pass and change.”
“I’m an orphan. With no one to help me to move on. Surely, my experiences will forever my suffering.” I reasoned-out.
He shook his head. “No, my child. Experiences are never forever. You may think it is because you live with it. You are stick in one season. And that is autumn; loneliness and longing. You never let other seasons to change the cycle of your life.”
“But I tried to change. I tried to be like them.” I keep on reasoning.
“Winter is the next season.” He nods while caressing his chin as if he is thinking. He is looking at the sky “In my view, winter is like misery.” He looked at me again. “Its mighty coldness happens to froze all the trees and make them look dead. My child, what you did is like this: you know that you were in the season of loneliness and others were in the season of happiness. You tried to be spring when you were autumn. You tried to stop the fall of the leaves in your tree for the thought of it might be a newly blossom tree and that was a big mistake. That was why; you became so badly miserable in season of winter. You skipped winter and think of its subsequent. You were not prepared and you put your own self in real jeopardy. You should have do this from now on and so on: attached yourself in your situation, live it temporarily and recover by it slowly. Look at the ocean.”
I looked at the ocean.
“Ocean never changes nor passes. Ocean is like life. It is very calm, very peaceful. Sometimes, it creates an unwanted wave brought by storm. Storm is like the outburst of our reckless emotion. And the wind is our behaviour. It is the wind that creates the waves. It is our behaviour that creates problems in our lives. Ocean experiences all seasons but remain calm in the end. Seasons are just passing by the ocean and ocean never let the season to stay longer. Have you understand me, my child? Moving on is no big deal.”
I looked to him again. My back is on the ocean.
“How?” I asked.
“Have endless hope.” he raises his face up and feels the rain. “Sky is blue. Ocean is blue. Blue is the symbol of hope and because blue symbolizes the ocean and sky, your hope must be infinity.
The rain stops pouring.
“Every season of your life gives you a lesson. Learn from it and be wise. Make your life as calm as the ocean with the color of infinity hope which is blue.”
I started to smile. That is the reason why I feel so replenished in seeing ocean. Its color makes me feel clean from the inside to outside.
“You have passed the autumn of your life; the longing. Though not prepared, you have survived the winter; the misery. Now my child, look at the ocean again.”
I looked again. The ocean is now calm again. The sun is visible and its rays shimmering the water. I feel so much hope.
“Welcome to the spring.” the old man announced.
I turn to look him again. To say thank you for enlightening my mind but he is no longer there. He disappeared. All I can see is a dove on top of me. I smiled. And the dove flies away.
Yes. Indeed. Experiences are like seasons. It changed and passed. Ocean is life. Life is hope. To stop hoping is to not believing there is a life.
A forever hope is believing there is ….. uhmmm … ahmm… what is it?
“ETERNAL LIFE.” I heard a voice from nowhere.
I looked at the sky. And one thing I realized, there is GOD. Who explained, and keep explaining the meaning of life with patience and love and how things that we see connected to our lives.
Orange is like the color of autumn. And orange symbolizes the color of nostalgia. Autumn changed and pass and I should recover on it.
For now, I must put blue upon the orange. The hope over my longing. And….. and ….. and ….. It turns Brown!
Brown like the color of my flesh and brown like the earth! Yes! Of course! I’m living in the earth. I AM a creation of GOD.
In the earth where I born.
In the earth where I die.
In the earth, where all seasons are happening.
In the earth where oceans are in.
In the end where the cycle of the seasons of my life are happening.
AND IN THE EARTH WHERE MY HOPE, EVERYONE’S HOPE SHALL ARISES AGAIN AND PREVAIL.
Thank you God for making me understand the life.
And the road is brown. Blue and orange, hope and nostalgia, the two opposites, together I bear this two and walk to His path that He has instructed.
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- BLUE AND ORANGE - April 14, 2020
