They say,
If you don’t know how to end something
then go back to where it started
And find out why it was supposed to end
And so, I closed my eyes and moved back in time
I don’t know when to start
Cause honestly,
Ours was full of uncertainty
I am wondering,
Would it be the 18th?
The day when we started to share stories and laughter
Would it be the 20th?
When I was lost then you were there to take care of me
Would it be the 7th?
When I confirmed, yes there’s something that’s about to bloom
Would it be the 11th?
When we made it official
I don’t know when
For the numbers in the calendar might almost run out
Yet memories are still coming
It’s hard to say
when was the beginning of this
For every waking day
always seemed to be the first
I never get used of your presence
Still
I always get excited with the thought of you
You effortlessly know how to
It’s hard to say
But one thing is for sure
Goodbyes will never be that easy as well
And I suddenly feel an immense sadness again…
Maybe I should start today
The same day
when I felt how to be home again
And be alive
(And maybe this sets the best start)
I can’t say if you’ll barely remember
But I completely do
Every time I think of you
I can vividly see everything
I can truly feel the euphoria in every moment
You have no idea how much I remember
every single moment that I had with you
And wished to, atleast, had done everything on earth with you
This very time,
The time I saw home in your eyes
I always aimed to see that ever-glow
I always wanted to see you happy
The moment I saw the future in you
How cowardly courageous I am
To do everything just to end up lying in your arms
You said, “It takes no time to fall in love
But it takes years to know what love is”
It took me a while to know what my love for you is
It is brave and persevere
And I’m glad it is
For 2 years,
I know there was so much that happened
We laughed, we cried, we hate, we love
We had been on a surf dance ride
But I can say,
Unconditionally,
I chose you
For you are my safe haven,
My comfort,
My home
I know the road with me was completely tough
There was so much hurt
So much tears
But still,
I chose you
For I believe that what we had
was stronger than what we lack
I’m sorry.
Feeling those,
I hurt you.
I know I was too risky to have
Yet I continued to choose you
Hoping you’ll stay until these downs end
For I believe in us
I apologize for being so hard
I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done
And those I haven’t.
I’m sorry for what I’m not
Now I realized,
Why we end up is because
My love for you might be too full for you to bare
Or lacks for you to hold on to
But one thing is for sure
Ours was not meant for us
And so,
My love for you took another form
It is letting go
I once heard,
For a story to be actually called a story
It has to have an end
I don’t know how to do ours
But then
I guess
I need to
So, this is it.
Yes,
Matagal kong sinuyod ang buong mundo para hanapin ka
And you came so unexpectedly
The time when I was so unconsious
Who would have known
That the man sitting in the corner of the room,
Quiet and a bit intimidating
Would own my heart.
Yes you do.
But now,
My love,
Ihahatid na kita, sa lugar kung saan ka magiging masaya
Sorry if it took me too long
To cease
No
To manage this love I have for you
I’m sorry I cannot kill it yet
Like what you wanted me to do
But gradually,
As I accept the fact that
We were not meant for each other,
and maybe that would be fine,
I’ll be there
Hope this would be an easy healing
No more hates
No more blames
No more what ifs
Only questions that are maybe better left unknown
Memories that might still sting but will not bother
Ours will be remembered, forever alive in the poems,
Lines of the songs,
And canvas
I pictured you in
My love,
Sadly,
This will be my 167th and last piece for you
I guess this is end
No more turning backs
I am signing off
Beybi,
Gihigugma jud tika
But now,
I’m setting us free
Be happy, always
- Cliché of Feeling - September 19, 2020
- In the Blink of an Eye - September 19, 2020
- Cautious - May 10, 2020
