There’s this old saying…”Jokes are half-meant.” It was the first of April during my college years. I went to school as if it’s just another normal day. I never knew that it’s already April not until my classmates pulled a prank on me. “Uy I love you daw sabi ni Kent,” Jeff said in his very serious tone. My heart suddenly beat abnormally and I felt that my face turned red. “It’s a prank! Happy April Fools, Jolly!” they said in unison. I just laughed with them because we all know that Kent, my ultimate crush, will never give me a single glance. That night, I decided to do something. I opened the Messenger app and typed Kent’s full name. I typed my confession and put all my feelings into it. I read it more than ten times. My heart’s beating so fast and my hands are trembling. I bit my nails and think multiple times if I should do it. I was about to send it when I thought of someone else. I grin as I copy the message and send it to Kenneth, my classmate and friend. Of course I modified it as if it was really for him. My message is actually a “confession” that I do not like Kent and he is the one whom I like since then. I told him that I love how he treats me well and that I see him more than a friend. Whenever he gives me a “hug” or holds my hand, my heart can’t stop beating so fast. I go to school early because I want to see him right away. When he tells joke in class, I can’t stop myself from admiring his handsome face whenever he’s smiling. Whenever he recites, I look at him intently as if I am memorizing his every move. Everytime he pulls a prank on me or annoys me, I try not to pay attention to him because I will just fall for him over and over again. Yet, I fail to do so because he keeps on disturbing my mind and shaking my heart. I smiled upon seeing that he’s typing his reply to my “prank”. I didn’t expect that he will send me a serious reply. He asked me if I mean all those things I said. “Of course not!” I uttered. Then I typed my reply… Joke siyempre, baliw! Happy April Fools, Kenneth! And he sent me the last message on that night of April first. Jokes are half-meant. That message of him hit me. I read my message once again. Then I came to the realization that the message I sent him and the feelings I put into it are real. I mean all those words because my heart said them. That night of April first, I didn’t take back what I’ve replied. I didn’t risk our friendship which is stronger than my mere feelings towards him. We are still friends up to this time.
- Half-Meant - April 19, 2020
